Crowdfunding, writing, and the monster known as depression.

In my novel The Log House, my main character finds herself battling nature and the sinister creatures that lurk within in order to return home. While writing this novel, I have also been battling a monster.

I have suffered with depression since I was a teenager. It’s mostly manageable, sometimes not, and generally rears its ugly head when I’m under some stress.

Stress like crowdfunding my debut novel, for example.

Now don’t get me wrong, this is exciting stress. I am working towards my dream and it’s amazing, but the depression does make it slight more…difficult. For every slump in views on my novel page, every hurdle with editing, I have a disgusting voice at the back of my head whispering – “You will never make it.”

Sometimes I can ignore this voice. I know it’s trying to stop me, to make me give up, and I’m aware enough to stop this from happening. Other times I can’t ignore it. I hate to say that I give in, but I do. And it can take me a while to build up the courage to start again.

At one point in the novel, Penny finds herself close to giving up. She is faced with a choice. She can survive, semi-comfortably in a semi-safe location, or she can push through the difficult situation to achieve her goal. Pushing through might mean death, but it might also mean a chance to get everything she has ever wanted.

And that’s where I’m at currently, though maybe in not quite as dramatic a situation. When that little voice is telling me to give up, I could very well listen and never write again. I wouldn’t be living but I would get by. I would keep going. But if I push through, if I fight against that voice toward my goal I could get everything I’ve ever dreamed of. It will be difficult and may not come to anything, but the goal is worth the difficulties.

The voice will probably always be there.

But as long as I’m still fighting, I will keep writing.

Man that’s cheesy.

You can find out more information on The Log House, as well as read the first chapter here. 

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3 thoughts on “Crowdfunding, writing, and the monster known as depression.

  1. Hey, nice to see you’re still around.

    Sorry to hear about the depression. I can quite relate, as I’ve had it since childhood. The key is to keep going forwards, and look at ways to help reduce it. Since switching vegetable oils with animal fats, I’ve noticed that depression for me has been greatly reduced. So I fully recommend looking at alternative solutions, and see if you have nutritional deficits. It’s so easy to do in this day and age, and can have radical effects on us all.

    You are a great and wonderful person, and I’m overjoyed that your book is very soon to be published. No matter how it fares, you’ve done more than what most try to do. How many start, then give up, a novel? You’re not one of those!

    Good luck, and all the best!

    Cameron.

    1. Thank you so much for the kind words Cameron, they’ve made my day! I am definitely trying to look at the positives, it’s just so hard being SO CLOSE to my dream!

      I hope you are well and that your novel is nearing completion so that I can read it one day!

      All the best,

      Baylea

      1. Glad to hear I managed to cause a boost. :@)

        If it helps, I’m being inspired by you, because I can see how it could be done for me. At some point, I’ll have a number of interconnecting stories to release all at once. HOW to release them is still a mystery to me. So, I’m seeing what you’re doing, as guidance for myself. In a sense, I’m following your lead and example.

        Just please don’t walk off a cliff! :@P

        As for my novel… it isn’t nearing completion at all. I finished it last Tuesday. I’ve gone and done some formatting, and made it into an A6 PDF. It currently stands at 513 pages, though I’ve yet to get to do any final formatting changes with it.

        You take care now!

        Cam :@)

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